I’ll Never Stop Needing My Mom
Dear Mom,
As the years go by, the constant thoughts of you begin to fade. Our lives continue to move forward without you, but we still take a piece of you with us wherever we go. We may not think about you daily but that doesn’t mean we have forgotten you; it just means we have had time to heal. When it was fresh, I never thought I’d get through it. But over time, the memories became treasures in my pocket which I can take out whenever I need your presence. Your physical presence is what can’t be replaced though, and the days when I need my mom are the hardest to power through.
Leading up to a significant surgery this year, all I could think about was how I wanted you there to nurse me through it. Your gentleness and compassion are what I wanted when I opened my eyes in the recovery room, along with your willingness to hold my hand when I got sick from the anesthesia. It was the first big ailment I’ve had since you’ve been gone and even at my age all I wanted was my mom. The good news is that I had two really good replacements who stepped up and filled the shoes you would have been in. They were fantastic, but it’s still not the same as having my mom there to do everything I wasn’t able to do on my own. When I was on day three of a six-week journey, I thought “there’s no way I can do this.” But now that I’m on the other side of it, I can say life is always going to have hard moments we don’t think we can overcome, and yet I have a large list of items I can look back on and say, “I did that.” Do I still wish you had been here to walk me through it? Absolutely!
People used to say, “you have more family than anyone I know”, but this time it was my friends who rose to the occasion and got me through it when my dad and sister weren’t available. It turned into “you have more friends than anyone I know” and when I look back at each day of my recovery they were exactly right. There was someone different at my house every single day; several regulars and sometimes more than one friend at a time. Rather than being disappointed about who wasn’t there to help, I’m rejoicing in seeing everyone who was. Twenty-six different people were at my house. TWENTY-SIX! Some were only there once, but many were there on a rotating basis to help or just to keep me company. I’m blown away at what my friends did for me and how often they stopped to see me or help me with something. From small tasks like dropping off food and taking out the trash, to big tasks and everything in between. The craziest part is there were only a couple of times I had to ask for help. All the other times, they just showed up and did what they knew I needed. How cool is that!
I still wish you could have been here, but I’m forever grateful for those who were.